DMC Culture

The DMC Office

Frank: Recently I've found out that Adam's gotten into Skyrim. So I took it upon myself to learn just enough Skyrim to keep the conversation with him, but also plant some incorrect things just to bug him. It's going pretty well.
Hey, Adam. I've recently got a copy of Skyrim and I need some advice.
Adam: Welcome to 2011.
Frank: Anyway, I'm working on increasing my stamina. So I'm working on forging techniques, herding techniques, and also some...
Adam: False. There's no such thing as herding, and forging doesn't increase your stamina.
Frank: Okay. Well, then how come I got my stamina up to 12?
Adam: No. No. False. False. There's no way you can get 12 stamina. It's in multiples of ten.
Frank: So I've been herding goats, cows, pigs, and what was that fourth one?
Erin: Lobsters.
Frank: Lobsters. Definitely lobsters.
Adam: False.
Frank: Because 4 times 3 is 12, so that's gonna get my 12...
Adam: I'm putting an end to this.
[crosstalk]
Frank: So I've got my 12 things there, so I'm pretty sure the lobsters helped most at the end there.
Adam: Snap it off. 
Erin: Yeah, they helped like 8 points.
[crosstalk]
Frank: So this isn't even the first time Adam has been filibustering me. Not even the first time on urban dictionary, but this is the first time he's got into...
Adam: Skankalicious.
Frank: Skankalicious.
Adam: Thank you. Skank-a-hoe. Snankophobic.
[music]
Liz: Oh, my god. Did you watch The Bachelor last night? It was amazing. Kelsey is completely crazy. I'm pretty sure she killed her husband.
Adam: False. Reality TV shows prohibit the contraction of murders.
Liz: So for the last couple of months, we've been watching The Bachelor and we have this Bachelor Fantasy League going on in the office. Currently I'm in fourth place, but I'm pretty sure next week, Whitney, I'm gonna be your ringer for first place. And if so, the winner gets to choose the office pet and I really want to get a cat.
Hey, Jason. I think I have a really good chance at winning the office Bachelor Fantasy League. So as my prize, for the office pet, I really wanna get a cat.
Jason: That's a great idea. I love cats.
Erin: No. No. Vetoed. Terrible idea.
Dan: Cats are awesome.
Billy: Cats are dicks, bro.
Jason: Okay, so as a compromise for the rest of the day, all of you guys pretend to be cats, and let's see how it works out.
Erin: Totally reasonable.
Adam: You've chosen this.
Jason: So getting ready for Houston, I've been doing a lot of training on my own. One of the classes I'm working on is conflict resolution part one. Clearly this idea is a win-win. Win.
Jason: What's up, Billy?
Billy: No. No.
Erin: Red dot. My dot. My red dot. My red dot. Mine. Mine. Mine. Red dot. I hate cats. What is this?
Billy: Did you wash your hands?
Erin: Did you wash your face?
Jason: So my thought is any girl whose name is supposed to end in Y and ends in I is crazy. That's completely why I voted for Erin.
Liz: Yeah that's true. Erin also did really well with that cat thing. 
Jason: Oh, god, Adam.
Adam: Members of the feline genus will often bring dead or maimed creatures to those they consider weaker in order to teach them to better hunt. These two chipmunks make a good example.
Liz: Maybe a cat wasn't such a good idea.
Dan: Liz thinks that she's gonna be winning her fantasy Bachelor week. But as you can see, I've hacked into the database and she has no chance now.